Some advice…

Forums General Discussion Some advice…

  • Post
    FretDancer69
    Member

    Hey guys, im really in very weird situation right now, and I would like some advice from everyone…

    Here’s the thing,

    This past friday, a drumming festival took place, and i couldnt go because i went to a Orchestra concert, but my friend who plays guitar (and we want to make a band together) went. I told him to try to look for drummers who were interested in forming a band with us.

    Well, turns out that on saturday, he calls me and tells me that he found one, and that the drummer had one 4th place on the competition, he also told me that she was a girl. So, the same day, we went to the mall to eat and get to know the girl and tell her about the idea of making a band. She liked the idea and we might get together to rehearse soon. When my friend left, I stayed with her waiting for her dad to pick her up, so we stayed talking, i got to know her better, made her laugh, etc. She’s really nice and very interesting, i was thinking of asking her out to another orchestra concert (they will be playing Beethoven) that might take place this week, but im still not sure. My friend also likes her a little, and i dont know if its a good idea to try something with someone who might become part of the band… I really dont know what to do, im not in love with her or anything, i just like her a little and would like to get to know her more…

    What are your thoughts…?

    Have you experienced something like this with a band or a similar situation?

Viewing 3 replies - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)
  • Replies
    billmeedog
    Member

    FretDancer69,

    Well I generally do not like to meddle in matters of the heart, but I can give you a few objective opinions from a far, and they are based on real-life experiences. :rolleyes:

    I think that no two situations are the same, and everyone’s relationship dynamics (be them professional or personal) differ. That all being said, you might want to look at what your musical goals are and also how important the friendship with your other guitarist is to you. Of course, in the WORST case scenario, you could lose your friend, the girl, and the band! However, it is also possible that you could all (somehow) co-exist and grow both personally and professionally. I know my thoughts here do not definitively lean either way! As I said, I’d prefer NOT to meddle. I can promise you the following unfortunate inevitability: If things go poorly in either your personal (romantic) relations or your professional (band) relations, the other WILL be affected! I have seen this firsthand, and I have heard of these behaviors from others as well.

    Again, I would NEVER try to tell someone what to do with their life, but I guess when you are trying to make decisions that will affect your future, try to consider how your decisions and actions will affect your own feelings as well as the feelings and well-being of those you care about too!

    One more tidbit (I try to remind myself of this often, and I think it helps!): Always try to remember how you felt when you first started playing music, and try to stay true to that inspiration! 😎

    Best of luck Bro! 😉

    I hope I could be of some help, but something tells me that I’m better suited to talk about modes or picking-mechanics!!! (lol!) 😀

    ~Bill Meehan~

    i-voyager
    Member

    Hey fretdancer,

    I’ve actually experienced a similar situation. I used to be in a doom metal band, we had a female keyboard player, and inevitably the drummer got romantically involved with her. This really put the rest of us in a bad spot because there was now a rift between us and them; we couldn’t make comments about either of their playing anymore without creating a massive argument and the onus was no longer on the music. Anyway, it wasn’t very long before the band split up.

    My advice would be to think seriously about what you want to give priority to; this girl or your band. Because combining the two is going to be very difficult, especially if your friend likes her as well. I’d say you should either go out with her, but find another drummer or let her in the band but just stay friends. Ultimately there’s more at stake than just the band here, there’s your friendship with her and your friend, so I would be careful in your position.

    Hope this helps dude, I know it’s a tough decision.

    Will

    FretDancer69
    Member

    Thanks guys, yeah its tough 🙁 . But i think i will settle for friends so we can get to have a band going, its been a long time since ive been in a band so i really want to create one.

    Thanks for all the advice and experiences, they were really helpful 🙂

Viewing 3 replies - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.